No one is coming

Everyone who has ever known me personally can tell you that I am that person who loves with everything she has, just like when I hurt, I hurt with everything I have. This is because I have had some trying experiences in my life, that have caused me to visit and assess parts of me that most people won’t experience in a lifetime. It means I know who I am, I accept my flaws, and I accept my heart. I dive deep into the ocean of my abyss, to the root of everything. Again, something most people will deny because it comes with lots of pain. It has never been an issue as long as my attention was directed towards them, the minute it was directed elsewhere, suddenly, it became a problem. As long as I loved them, gave to them, there was no problem. Just like, the minute I was hurt by them, this too became a problem. Because while I was confronting everything on a deeper level, the other parties were not at the same level of consciousness as me. They were not willing to do the work on their end. It was always one-sided, and so I found myself accompanied in the good times, but alone on the darkest of days. This is when you know, that no one is coming to save you. No one. 

2025 has been a year of solitude. Silent struggles, pain, betrayals, and abandonment from the people I thought I needed most. I have been maintaining my job, my career, my friendships, my music, and pretty much everyone. All the while, trying to push through the circumstances, the loneliness, the judgments from people who think they know better and have it all figured out, when they don’t. I have been living through all of it, without anyone understanding their impact. I have been holding myself accountable but I have been doing it alone – because I have been surrounded by the wrong people. Again, that is on me. I have failed many times, but I keep on trying. 

Here is the purpose of this blog: nothing about getting your life together, nothing about growth, challenges, confrontation, or closing chapters is glorious. On the contrary, it is ugly, it is harder than you can ever imagine, and it will bring you to your knees questioning yourself, and praying to keep on going. You will constantly be facing the pain, as you fight through it. And the people to whom you gave so much space, are not the people who can help you out of it, you have to do it alone. The very dependency you created in the first place, is the very dependency you will need to break. 

This is when I realized that strength is not heroic, nor is it loud. No, that is ego. Ego has no place in growth, ego has no place in pain. Ego is the mirage that keeps us believing that we are better than the rest and it is what will keep you from moving forward. Ego is what controls situations and people and what quite frankly destroys the world. 

I am love. I am heart. I am honest, I am flawed, I am imperfect, I am beautiful, I am, I will repeat, love. Love hurts. It feels. It loves. It smiles and it cries. Who are you?

So mi gente, I came here today to let you know that yes, I have a lot coming, yes, it is success, yes, it is going to be a pivotal year. But I wanted you to know me better as an artist and person. So that when you listen to my music, or see my posts, you see a human, flesh and blood, making it happen – but not perfection. I hope, that it wakes up something in you as well, because that is the reason I do what I do – no more, no less. 

Love, bleed, nourish, ground yourself, check yourself, and believe and trust that you can do better. This is what real life is about. Not what you own, not what is socially acceptable, but rather what is the pursuit of real happiness.

A special thank you to a dear friend of mine who lives in the ashes, and still shows up for people everyday.